Waved my lovely daughter goodbye this morning – she is off to Cornwall with her old school friends and then we have one more precious night with her on Friday before she heads for home. It all feels so easy having her around and I’m so present with her that I forget about my normal life completely!

When she goes I realise I have no idea what day of the week it is! So I make a shopping list and  I take myself out into the garden to weed and chop for a while to get a handle on reality again….

This afternoon I visit our friend with Dementia in the RD&E where he is undergoing 4 days of treatment. Last time he had this treatment he was very sleepy and didn’t want me to be there for long but this time I can hear him before I see him – he is at the nurses’ station asking if I have arrived – wide awake and raring to go! We walk to the cafe on the next level where he wants tea and cake. I know he shouldn’t be having cake – just soft food now – but when I suggest the yoghurt he is not keen so the cake goes onto the tray.

It takes him a long time to eat and drink – swallowing is a bit of a struggle now and I am on alert in case he chokes – but thank goodness all is well. I am distracted by all the huge people in the cafe -when did we become so obese? It seems to have happened so fast….

I leave R sitting on his bed awaiting his treatment and he shouts I Love You insistently after me as I walk away…..I know he wants a reply – that he’s doing it because he wants something and all I can think to do is to bless him with freedom and peace.

I totter over the road for a cuppa with my pal who lives right by the hospital and I allow myself a delicious earl grey tea – we have a lovely chat while she waits for her husband to come back with his enabler. These amazing women coping with spouses (the plural of spouse should be spice!) who have brain issues – day after day just going on and on being there, caring relentlessly – what unsung heroines they are…..


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